This project was for a pitch. I got to try my hand at writing the bottle copy for a new product Vitamin Water was bringing out, 'Glow', and also update the previous range of bottle copy with something geared for the 2012 London Olympics.
The brief was 'urban Olympics/sport', without excluding the quirky tone Vitamin Water is known for. So I had to write something not too sporty (because that's what Energade and Powerade are for), but something more lighthearted, lifestyle-focussed and tongue-in-cheek, alluding to sport.
Even though this was only for a pitch, I loved working on this so much - it has been one of my favourite projects to write.
Glow
You know what the worst part of having the time of your life is? Monday morning and frantically untagging every record of it.
No one needs their gums to say howzit or have one eye open, one eye wandering, or that open door policy of your mouth where it proudly displays your tonsils. Noooo, untags are a thing of the past. For real, stop raising those brows. Hey! Focus! Look at this little bottle, it’s filled with vitamins a – c, zinc and biotin which help nourish your skin, hair and nails from within (we call it the Glow effect) but best of all... drum roll please... ZERO calories! So have it whenever you like (and preferably when cameras are doing the rounds, we must defeat the evil tag monsters). It’s a million bucks in a bottle.
Revive
Bang! ... bang? False starts can ruin your day. And will most likely end up on a bloopers reel somewhere, somehow, looped over and over and over [cue canned laughter]. People love to watch that stuff like ten times in a row and then send it to a friend, who’ll send it to a friend, who’ll send it to…
So we get it. If you’ve had a heavy night, you don’t need any more reminding - avoid false starts with this little firecracker: it’s packed with b vitamins, potassium and electrolytes to give you that much needed shazaam (that’s fancy for ‘boost’) and help you start your day out just right, first time, no commentary from the peanut gallery, no archives, no 1 347 922 views. Phew!
Super V
Remember TV games? The ones with the silly graphics and the 100-sports-in-1 bright orange cartridge and you sat there in your PJ’s and played clay pigeon shooting and javelin into the wee hours? Remember how the crowd would roar when you won and how if you didn’t get your finger co-ord just right, your dude would fall flat over a hurdle with that ‘splat’ sound effect?
Well this drink is just like a 100-in-1 game cartridge, it’s bursting with vitamins from a to zinc. You’ll feel good. So good you might just fish out your old TV games from the garage in an attempt to re-live your glory moments. And in case you’re wondering, there’s nothing wrong with doing victory laps around the living room when you hear that crowd roar again.
Essential
Success, the good-looking cousin of Perseverance.
Sure, some people get medals or trophies when they succeed and sure, it’s nice to get a pat on the back, stand on a podium and even bask in the rapturous applause of a packed stadium. But this shouldn’t be what you’re after, you know? As long as you beat your personal beast, nothing else should matter. Right?
Nah. Victory dances are not only appropriate but encouraged. You worked hard on yours, the running-man-funky-chicken combo, and that’s because you got all your vitamin c and calcium from this drink, didn’t you? So go on, wallow in the glow of Victory, he’s the fancy pants big brother of Success.
Energy
You know that town, it’s like quite big and people like fish and chips, there’s a big clock, dudes with furry black hats outside a big palace and red telephone booths, you know that place? And do you know that big event, it takes place every four years, people compete for medals, it’s sport and whatnot, and there’s a flame and stuff?
Well yeah, this has nothing to do with that. This is just water that tastes amazing and has added b vitamins and guarana, to help keep your energy and happy levels way up and prepare you for a rainy day, weather that has a lot to do with that place.
XXX
Protection against the elements sounds like biology. Protection against the dark forces sounds like a familiar boy wizard story. But protection for your cells using antioxidants sounds like magic and science combined. What happens when you combine science and magic? XXX!
It’s not a potion. It’s just really really good looking water with triple antioxidants and a winning personality. So next time you’re running that race, shot putting or relaying, maybe just... wear sunblock to be safe. We can’t have your back on everything but we’ve got free radical knock-outs covered.
Power c
You know what’s better than sliced bread? Pretty much everything since 1928 (fact).
Including this little bottle in your hand right now. It doesn’t look like anything incredible, much like that underrated team of athletes from some obscure African country. But it packs a punch, a sucker punch of b + c vitamins, perfect for foot-in-mouth moments and hat eating. Like when that little team reveals just how long and lean their legs are and annihilate everyone in every event. That kind of punch.
And you know what’s better than proving critics wrong? Nothing.
