8 Signs Showing That You Love Yourself
There has been a buzz about self-love and why it is important to work towards becoming a good person to yourself. If you are like me, you have read blogs and books, about self-love and have a gallery full of your favorite quotes to refuel your tank when you are struggling to feel good about yourself.
But how will you know if you are at the stage where you can proudly say, ‘I love myself?’ You do know when you love your partner, friend or just about anyone in your life. You feel warm towards them, you care about them and you do everything in your power to show and tell them. What about you? How do you know that you actually do love and care for yourself? Learn from the 8 proven signs that show that you love yourself.
1. You Have Forgiven Yourself
In the past, you used to be hard on yourself for things that you did or didn’t do and the bad character you showed toward other people. You have replayed hurtful situations in your mind over and over again, causing yourself unnecessary happiness. I should have done this better and I shouldn’t have done that. You have the record of should haves, could haves, and would haves replaying in your mind.
Being a self-loving person is recognising that you are only a human being and deserve forgiveness, just like all the people you forgive for treating you badly. It is letting go of how things would have turned so that you can live happily in the present moment. It is also acknowledging that you are a human, and if you had known better, you would have done better.
2. You are Following Your Dreams
We all have dreams, however, not everyone is working toward them. Some are still riddled by fear, some are okay with comfort, maybe because their dreams require major discomfort and some don’t even dare to dream anymore.
The moment you attain self-love, you don’t care what anyone says, all you want is to realize your dreams or at least try. You work on it because it gives you joy, even if you aren’t making a lot of money out of it. The naysayers don’t bother you anymore; those who don’t support you also don’t matter because you believe in yourself and your dreams.
3. Your Self-confidence is Sky-rocketing
If you have ever had low self-esteem issues, you know how hard it is to navigate life. You can’t go to certain places because you don’t feel worthy to be seen there, and you can’t do certain activities because of shyness; it’s just a nightmare.
A self-loving person has healthy self-confidence and their confidence shows wherever they go because they are not faking it. When you love yourself, you can go to any place and won’t be bothered by constant stares; you can go out in public not looking your best but still rock it and you aren’t obsessed about how you look.
4. You Don’t Need Validation From Anyone
A lot of times you find that people do certain things to be accepted or to fit in; people end up doing underhanded things or getting involved in toxic behaviors just so they could be validated or get accepted by certain people.
Well you know you are a self-loving person when people’s disapproval of you doesn’t bother you at all. When you make choices that are for your own good and not for the sake of others’ validation. And finally, when you are okay with people not understanding the choices that you make, as long as they make sense to you.
5. You Are a Lot Nicer To Yourself
One of the clear signs of a lack of self-love is being mean to yourself. You know that little voice in your head that will keep on telling you how you aren’t good enough, how nobody likes you, and how you don’t deserve good things! The mean internal voice that will tell you it’s okay for people to treat you badly!
When you have finally attained self-love, the inner critique becomes a lot nicer, more understanding, empathetic, and sympathetic. It is like living permanently with a best friend. Instead of kicking you while you are down, that voice is encouraging; it is supportive of you and the choices that you make, and above all, it is not mean but loving.
6. You Have Let Go of Toxic Relationships and Behaviour
Have you ever lived a life full of drama? Not only does drama follow you but you are drawn to it like a moth the fire. It is so exciting and exhilarating that your life feels boring without something dramatic happening. You have friends who get entangled in messed up situations, and they are happy to discuss that part of their lives with you, and you are just in everybody’s business. You attract bad friends and bad partners who will feed your drama-loving personality.
This is just an understatement of the definition of someone who lacks self-love. When you have finally become a self-loving person, you realize how bad those types of relationships are, and sometimes you literally get sick of keeping toxic people in your life. Story for another day. It also gets easier to cut ties with toxic people without falling apart, and you rejoice when a bad friend or partner leaves your life because it's like trash taking itself out. *chuckles*
7. You Hold Yourself Accountable
You know how you can blame everyone in your life or around you for things going bad in your life? There is never a moment when you are wrong; it has always been other people treating you badly or wrongly and you had no part whatsoever in any misfortunes that have happened to you. You are always a victim, happy to tell your story so you can get people to sympathize with you.
A self-loving person holds themselves accountable for their actions. Yes maybe you are a victim, but in most cases, you will find that you played a part in how people treated you. Acknowledging your contribution to the misdemeanors inflicted on you is one step towards taking accountability. By doing this, you aren’t accepting that it was okay for people to mistreat you or that you were stupid for taking it, it is simply bringing the truth to light so you can learn from it and do better next time.
8. You Are Nicer to Other People
This is a no-brainer! Once you start loving yourself, you become a nicer person, first to yourself, and it gets easier to pour that love on everyone else around you. It is cliché, but to love other people, you have to love yourself first. You know how you can’t necessarily give what you don’t have and how you can’t pour from an empty cup?
When I didn’t love myself, I was mean for no reason. I get embarrassed and disgusted just thinking about this. I would be so moody and unhappy that everyone around me would leave me alone until I was happy again. The way I talked to people was rude. I mean, my conversations with strangers lacked kindness, humanity, or empathy, and I didn’t care. It didn’t help that I hardly ever cried, no matter how hurt I was. I was this hard-core teenager who didn’t care.
I remember in high school, a bus was involved in a bad accident, and some of the students from my school were badly injured. One of them was my classmate, and everyone in my class was crying, especially the girls, upon hearing the news, and I was just there with no emotions or reaction. The other time, our teacher got shot and died, and you can imagine how students reacted. It was a girls’ only school. I didn’t even shed a tear. I am glad to say that I am not this person anymore.
How much a person loves themselves varies from one person to another, and the learning process to become a self-loving person takes different forms and timeframes. However, it is nice that, through the process, you have some guidance or a check system that lets you know you are on the right track. We don’t get to be self-loving people at the same time; however, when we continue to learn, we will get better and finally get it forever.
