Cats Forever
Here are some cute cat drawings that I drew to cope with my abusive roommate for 8 weeks. It was extremely traumatic having gone through such an abusive relationship and I hope that by sharing what I went through (all the way below), I can feel better and find some sort of closure. I hope that these cat drawings can help you find some happiness just like it did as I constantly lived in fear and was walking around eggshells around my roommate who had extreme anger issues.
Tortie Cat
Bombay Cat
Tabby Cat
Burmese Cat
Manx Cat
Siamese Cat
Balinese Cat
Tuxedo Cat
Ocicat
British Shorthair
American Shorthair
Ragdoll Cat
My abusive roommate
I was beyond excited to group with my then-friend, let's call him (small) J, (from SUTD) for my trip to Stanford University for a summer session. He was a friend that I cherished dearly and I always wished for his success -- helping him to find his computer science internship in 2022 and giving him advice when he needed it. However, things turned sour very quickly when we became roommates and honestly, he felt like a roommate from hell as he abused me mentally and physically.
I remember vividly on the first day of our arrival at our Airbnb in San Francisco, he lost his passport and all of his money and started panicking. I tried to keep my cool because I knew panicking would not help in the situation and quickly looked for ways to help him find his passport. I messaged my friends and the school staff, asked him to call the local police, and conversed with the Uber agent to see if his passport and money were on the Uber. Fortunately, the Uber driver got back and notified us that he left his passport and money in the car and was ready to drive back to return the lost items. Although this led to a 20 USD penalty on my account, I kept quiet about it and even offered to pay for the entire Uber trip because I saw how distressed he was. When the driver came, he thanked the driver profusely and readily passed a 50 USD tip to him. I was just happy that the issue was resolved and did not think much about it. However, a few days later, when a friend asked about the incident, all he commented about was how I wasn't panicking because it wasn't my passport that was lost. I was dumbfounded but I didn't say anything because he was a friend after all.
This wasn't the only comment that left me perplexed and emotionally confused. Once, my group of friends and I were discussing quarreling couples and he immediately suggested that if he was in a relationship, he would leave the other party to sleep on the sofa for the night because the sofa was uncomfortable. I was really affected by the comment because I remembered how during our booking on Airbnb, he insisted on sleeping on an entire king/queen-size bed by himself and was not willing to compromise (i.e. to have another person sleep with him). He knew that the Airbnb only had one bed and a sofa and he very well knew that I was going to sleep on the sofa, yet it didn't bother him at all. His own needs were more important than my needs. I foolishly helped to settle the Airbnb bookings and search all by myself without complaints and I really regretted it thinking back. Not only did I settle the Airbnb bookings and search myself, but I also planned the itinerary all by myself because I thought one day this dear friend of mine would appreciate my goodwill. Although I asked him to look through the itinerary, he couldn't even be half bothered and was quick to point fingers when places turned out worse than we had expected.
After the whole passport saga, I remembered he mentioned how his shoes were spoiled and had a very poor grip. He also had to get his SIM card in order to get Internet connectivity and make phone calls. I knew these had to be settled quickly because could cause safety issues for him and I also noted that he had financial constraints, hence I suggested going to Livermore Premium Outlet to get items at an arguably more affordable price. On our way to the Premium Outlet, we chanced upon a Walmart, where he got to purchase his SIM card, bedsheet, and pillow, which I offered to carry because I wanted to be of help. When we reached the Premium Outlet, we had a hearty and enjoyable lunch and started our shopping. However, after 2-3 stores, his mood suddenly swung for the worse. I could visibly see his anger and annoyance that came out of the blue. Once he got what he wanted, he became irritated and insisted that we leave for the 4 p.m. bus, although he very well knew that I had things that I wanted to purchase for myself and my parents. He pressured me excessively with his anger and it was one of the most stressful experiences I have had. Thinking back, I was so foolish to even apologize to him for causing his anger.
A day after our trip to Livermore, it was time to move to our school hostel. As there were 3 beds -- 1 double decker and 1 single bed, I asked him to pick his bed first. At first, he wanted the single bed because he felt that the double-decker would be uncomfortable (i.e. he didn't mind that I would sleep on the double-decker that he deemed uncomfortable). However, there was initially another roommate whom we did not know, so I had to convince him that both of us should sleep on the double-decker for safety reasons. Fortunately, he was convinced. However, he picked the bottom one because it was safer. I gave in and just took the upper deck. A few weeks later, he knocked his head on a double-decker bed and swore angrily to destroy my bed. He kept harping on it repeatedly and it felt like he was treating me as a punching bag to release his anger. It also felt like he was trying to guilt-trip me for the decision that he had made. It was not a good feeling at all.
During our stay, he pointed out that he did not bring any shampoo, soap, or detergent at all because he wanted to bring a 7kg carry-on bag only. When he saw the soap and (the brand of the) shampoo that I was using, he just said that he was going to use them and I don't know why I did not say no, but I guess I was okay with it because he was my friend. He also used my detergent (and softener) readily as though he was entitled to it. In the last few days, however, he suddenly mentioned that he had brought along soap and shampoo all along. I was shocked and confused. Apart from these items, I also painstakingly brought a ceramic container in case my roommates and I need to pack some food for tea or supper because food can be hard to find near school. Once, he started packing food into my container and when I asked who it was for, he did not hesitate to say that he was only packing all the food for himself, using my container. I was speechless.
Unfortunately, this is not the only instance where he emphasized just how selfish he was as a person, with no regard for the needs of others. During Uber rides, he was quick to get seats that were free from the sunlight. There were times when his seat was where the sunlight was directed at and he would remark that I was the one that purposely chose the better seat, although it was clear that I was consistently letting him and my friends enter the car first for their safety. Besides having to endure such sarcastic remarks, he was never shy of repeatedly mocking my parents for their purchases. Although I was deeply affected by the incessant mockery of my loved ones, I did not want to escalate the matter and tolerated it.
Apart from these verbal abuses, he had a very twisted idea of the use of Splitwise, an online platform that all of us used in order to ensure accountability for the money spent and to ease the process of repaying each other at the end of the trip. While I was conversing with him once to ask if he could reduce the amount of debt he had (which amounted to around 300 USD) given the amount of money he had exchanged prior, he said that it was okay for him to owe money and he had the intention to owe till the end of the trip, although I did explain to say that the rest of us have limited financial resources to tap on and it was not viable for us to keep changing money, paying conversion and transfer fees (which he gladly would escape from if he had continued owing) and paying on his behalf.
Jaron Ho
Things turned really awry on the last day when he suddenly woke up and started slamming the door and cupboard in a rage. Out of the blue, he turned to me and repeatedly shouted "Why did I wake him up"? I was dumbfounded because I had no intention of disturbing his sleep and in fact that night, there were many groups of people partying outside our room in celebration of the end of the summer program. Although it was clear that I was his punching bag again, I told him that I was sorry for disturbing his sleep and he lashed out at me. He leaned forward, seemingly ready to physically assault me. It was a very traumatic incident and I was very distraught. It was so strange that he would get so angry over one sleep-deprived night when I had lost countless of sleep with his incredibly audible and non-stop keyboard and mouse clicking sound during his late-night gamings (that could last till 2 a.m.) for the past 8 weeks. It was so audible that my roommates in the other room could actually hear it. I did tell him that but he said it was impossible. I mean he was on his earpiece the whole time, so how could he have possibly heard them. He suddenly left the room and I was left shaken by the whole thing. I promptly took my luggage and left for a hotel without him as I feared for my safety. I quickly texted my friends about the incident which left me fearing for my safety. I could not even sleep a wink in the hotel and had to change my airplane seat (which was situated beside his initially).
The thought of his anger and the endless abuses that he put me through over the 8 weeks still haunts me today. After reaching Singapore, he sent a parting text hoping to move on and hoping for a closure. It left me so enraged as he was the one who abused me for the past 8 weeks despite all the goodwill that I've shown him. Who was he to ask for closure? Who was he to write a parting message under the pretense of absolving himself from any responsibilities? Who was he to think he could be a bigger person in this situation when I was the one left scarred?
Ho Wei Heng, Jaron
My journey to Stanford University should have been a shared adventure, but it transformed into a harrowing experience of abuse, manipulation, and disregard from someone I once called a friend.
