There are some whom believe that our definition of self-identity consist of all the people whom we are exposed to in our lives. Our family, friends, teachers, and all other sorts of people have an impact and influence in our lives. They leave traces of themselves embedded within our subconscious, and at times we use them as inspirations or motivations to form our sense of self.

Researchers have tested the theory of how our brains define the word self. A subject’s brain activity was monitored while being threatened, which serves as a base of control for the experiment. Now, someone close to the subject is threatened in the same fashion, and what researchers saw intrigued them. The way the subject’s brain reacted to some one close to him being threatened was the same as though he himself was the target of the threat. In a way, our brain see’s someone close to us as part of us, or an extension of our physical and emotional selves. We are after all, the sum of all our experiences, choices, actions, words & thought. Don’t people in our lives play a fundamental part in that equation?

We are surrounded by people whom have meaning in our lives, we shape our lives with those individuals in them. Our identities are there by shaped by them as well, at least on some subconscious level. Humans are not meant to be alone, we need the company of others in order to survive in the world. It is in our nature to build communities, to live in societies and to interact with individuals. Consider the fact that Isolation is used as a form of psychological punishment and torture in prisons and some parts of the world. Deprived of the people around you, your mind will go mad and your identity will start to waiver. Can you imagine life without people in them? Imagine what it might be like dear reader? 

Carl Sagan’s famous quote of “We are Star stuff” has considerable weight in this topic. For if we are star stuff, we are all part of the same universe. We are all linked together in a subatomic sense, so if you think about it, there is already a physical link between you and I for instance. But of course, on an emotional or psychological level, you and I have no bond, or at least not yet till the end of this book. But you and your Best Pal is a different story. There are bits of him or her within you, their influence, thoughts, habits, preferences etc, are a part of you too, and you might choose to adopt some of those parts into your own identity in order to be connected to your pal. That is understandable. Of course this theory here is one thin fine line between exposing yourself to something new and becoming obsessed with the things your Pal likes. If it’s the latter, you might have a problem, which sounds more like borderline obsession and infatuation.  Anyway back to the topic, in summary in this introduction, we have parts of everyone close to us within ourselves, would be a nice exercise to see who has influenced you in what manner in your sense of self and in life.