UNSETTLED
I am moving between countries and living abroad for years now, so the emotional perspective of this rootless lifestyle inevitably became the main subject of my latest works. The journey what began with pure curiosity and the desire to discover has been accompanied by new feelings and shades with every moving. My experiences have changed me, and there is no way back in this journey. I often have the impression that I am not belonging to the place where Iam trying to integrate, but neither to my home country anymore. Returning would make me dissatisfied, leaving makes me feel unsettled.
Every time I try to describe what do I call home, I feel like I think about an abstract space what I am unable to define. Commuting between my “homes” makes me feel like I am floating in this empty space, belonging everywhere and nowhere, being distracted by sadness and happiness at the same time, and always missing something.
I chose the polaroid emulsion lift and its hovering and crumpled state as a reflection of my mindset, and also of the abstract disconnected space.
The work flow resonates with the subject’s duality: watching the floating transparent pieces is a meditative experience, but treating this sensitive and vulnerable material requires a lot of patience .
As I am creating and distracting these photos of myself I am visualizing my inner confusion. The creation of this work helps me to formulate my feelings and makes this abstract space, this “thing” called home more tangible.
