all of the writings and thoughts and beautiful but sometimes tragic life doings
panic attacks at three a m
and this dark cloud doesn't float above you, it creeps beneath your every footstep then rises up with fists
it's cold
And you will sit by the fire and tell your friends about the adventures you had and this girl from the north with a twinkle in her eye who broke your heart.
And you will dance with your beautiful bride on the special day and not a thought will cross your mind about the fire you felt for years. Then one day you'll sit by a fire while she asks you about that photograph, and you won't find the words, but "just a good friend," as the fire starts to ignite your memories.
Ten years later, as you're unpacking, your children will ask, "who is she," and you'll stop for a moment. You had forgotten and you'll say, "it's just a photo of a friend."
You'll watch outside your window as children's boots crush the snow, and you'll think about the time you and her felt magic on a cold night downtown, walking with coffee cups in hand. The twinkling lights hitting faces and how you wished this feeling wouldn't go away.
The summer and fall you found the hardest hurt, when you had silence and you asked "why?" Then you got it back, and you told yourself I won't lose this again. The feeling of her in your arms as you twirled her to the music at midnight. Maybe you hadn't realized how you kept pushing her away rather than pulling her in. Then you remember how alive you felt, while breaking all the same.
On One Encounter
To the mystery boy with eyes of green,
Pouring that poison so sweet.
A beautiful hue of wine to complement,
Those eyes of green.
Every time, our eyes of sight meet,
But I still don’t know your name,
Only the softness of your voice,
the familiar light shining off your ash brown hair.
And that’s okay,
Maybe next time,
Sincerely, the girl from table 3.
Another Encounter
I am feeling particularly bubbly,
Carrying from the last place to the next.
My friends don’t know,
I’m a private person who doesn’t show.
They have chosen this,
Something I would, maybe like to miss.
Working again, I see,
Mr. No Name,
It’s the one time I don’t want to play this game,
Again.
The anticipation of your eyes meeting mine,
The feeling of just being fine.
This time it’s you,
You’re the one to break the silence of stare,
And I feel like you could care.
Sincerely, no name from table 3.
untitled
Sitting by the glow created from the fire,
Casting highlights on your face.
You turn and I look away,
Quickly, quietly.
I look to the sky,
Those brilliant and bright dots dancing,
Each one individual and beautiful,
Kind of like you.
