-----------Cowards--------------
There are wounds that drag memories, that drag the soul back to where you left off when it happened, that leave you perplexed, that leave you in the mental lagoon, that sentences you to close your eyes and that it hurts inside.
It was always there, I always knew it, that you were inevitably going to drink parts of me that they didn't know could be taken, that you were going to incarnate yourself so strongly in a place that when it comes to consciousness it hurts.
It comes to my mind every time we were frozen in bed looking at each other, when you drew on my cheeks with your fingers, when sounds and talks were unnecessary, if the mental trance was ours, and we could communicate as if we were talking about telepathy.
I remember, and I can't help feeling the electricity run through my body from when I closed my eyes and I had you inches away, so close.
How did we not know? How did we let it happen? How do we not risk it?
Maybe two cowards, two cowards who were afraid of suffering, who were afraid of everything.
We thought we protected ourselves and forgot that being happy came first.
And now I see you from afar, I see you so happy, and although I wonder what it would have been, I am grateful that we are no longer the same cowards, that we dare to love, and be completely free. Even though the world was upside down.
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Hay heridas que arrastran recuerdos, que arrastran al alma a volver donde te quedaste cuando ocurrió, que te dejan perplejo, que te dejan en la laguna mental, que te sentencia a cerrar los ojos y que duela por dentro.
Siempre estuvo ahí, siempre lo supe, que inevitablemente ibas a beber partes de mi que no sabían que se podían tomar, que ibas a encarnarte tan fuerte en un lugar que cuando viene a la consciencia duele.
Viene a mi mente cada vez que nos quedábamos congeladas en la cama mirándonos, cuando dibujabas en mis mejillas con tus dedos, cuando los sonidos y las charlas sobraban, si el trance mental era nuestro, y podíamos comunicarnos como si de telepatía se hablara.
Recuerdo, y no puedo evitar sentir que me recorre el cuerpo la electricidad de cuando cerraba los ojos y te tenia a centímetros, tan cerca.
¿Cómo no lo supimos? ¿Cómo dejamos que pasara? ¿Cómo no nos arriesgamos?
Tal vez dos cobardes, dos cobardes que le tenían miedo a sufrir, que le tenían miedo a todo.
Creímos que nos protegíamos y olvidamos que ser feliz estaba primero.
Y ahora te veo de lejos, te veo tan feliz, y aunque me pregunto que hubiese sido, agradezco que ya no seamos las mismas cobardes, que nos animamos a amar, y ser completamente libres. Aún a pesar de que el mundo estaba al revés.