Black Lives Matter by Thyra Bankole
“Estrangement is the feeling I have felt my entire life. I have felt so alienated from my family and my peers, I struggle to find a word strong enough to reflect my feelings.
Since I could remember, I was always referred to as the “oreo” in my friendship groups and the “oyinbo” of the family. “I’m more black than Thyra is” were the words of my peers whilst in a predominately white school. Imagine that. Imagine constantly being told you’re not black.
On Black out Tuesday, we saw our timelines flooded with black squares. This was a day of reflection, teaching and understanding. It was also the day that I received apologies from people who never gave me an apology ten years ago.
The blame is partly on me. I wish I spoke out. Defended myself. But instead, the fear of being called sassy or hot headed choked me, silencing me until now.
We are so fixated on what everyone around us is doing and how we look online. Have you stopped to understand what the real issue is?
We have been crying out for centuries, but it was silenced by your ignorance and your fear. The fear of change and the fear of losing power. Power that you do not even understand you have.
Now that we are dying on your screens, you want to issue your apologies.
I don’t want your apology. Your apology isn’t going to stop the teenagers on my street from hurling abuse at me.
Your apology isn’t going to stop the old lady from touching my “exotic” hair.
Or the security guard from following me around the store.
Your apology won’t help explain to my future daughter that we have to work twice as hard to get our foot in the door or to my future son that society will see him as a threat.
Or that their names will be the reason they’re turned away from job opportunities.
Instead of your black square we want education, we want role models, we want a change.
I want you to educate yourself and understand why calling me an “oreo” is wrong and why we can say the n word in a song and you can’t.
I want you to understand the pain and the feeling of being different or the odd one out and reflect on how that feels.
Protect your black friends, educate yourself, understand your privilege.”
“Estrangement is the feeling I have felt my entire life. I have felt so alienated from my family and my peers, I struggle to find a word strong enough to reflect my feelings.
Since I could remember, I was always referred to as the “oreo” in my friendship groups and the “oyinbo” of the family. “I’m more black than Thyra is” were the words of my peers whilst in a predominately white school. Imagine that. Imagine constantly being told you’re not black.
On Black out Tuesday, we saw our timelines flooded with black squares. This was a day of reflection, teaching and understanding. It was also the day that I received apologies from people who never gave me an apology ten years ago.
The blame is partly on me. I wish I spoke out. Defended myself. But instead, the fear of being called sassy or hot headed choked me, silencing me until now.
We are so fixated on what everyone around us is doing and how we look online. Have you stopped to understand what the real issue is?
We have been crying out for centuries, but it was silenced by your ignorance and your fear. The fear of change and the fear of losing power. Power that you do not even understand you have.
Now that we are dying on your screens, you want to issue your apologies.
I don’t want your apology. Your apology isn’t going to stop the teenagers on my street from hurling abuse at me.
Your apology isn’t going to stop the old lady from touching my “exotic” hair.
Or the security guard from following me around the store.
Your apology won’t help explain to my future daughter that we have to work twice as hard to get our foot in the door or to my future son that society will see him as a threat.
Or that their names will be the reason they’re turned away from job opportunities.
Instead of your black square we want education, we want role models, we want a change.
I want you to educate yourself and understand why calling me an “oreo” is wrong and why we can say the n word in a song and you can’t.
I want you to understand the pain and the feeling of being different or the odd one out and reflect on how that feels.
Protect your black friends, educate yourself, understand your privilege.”
Words by Thyra Bankole and image shot by Betsy Humberstone.
