Halloween is upon us, and it’s time to get crafty! This illustrated guide shall serve as your inspiration for finding the right costume for all your safe, socially distanced Halloween outings. Were you bummed about not being able to wear your favorite costume, because your mask totally clashed with your spooky drippage? Do not fret! The following costumes have got you covered-literally. Don’t worry about ruining your overpriced Halloween getup with an unsightly baby blue fabric mask! These looks are the solution to your all your costume anxieties

You ever just wanna yee-haw? But you’re too afraid to? Or, you want to YEE HAW but it’s just not the appropriate setting to do so? Halloween is the perfect time to let your western interjections flow freely! Try dressing up as a classic, tried-and-true, rootin’ and tootin’ wild west sheriff this Halloween- it works perfectly with an effortless bandana face mask. (For the most accurate western vibe, snag a red “bandana-print” bandana. You know the type! With the iconic paisley-type print, right?) There’s very few situations where enthusiastic yee-haws are acceptable. Halloween night in full cowboy style drip is the perfect time to get all the yee-haws out of your system. Yee [and I can NOT stress this enough] HAW! 

This one goes out to all you Troma film nerds and neo-thrash enthusiasts. The Toxic Wastoid costume is the perfect low-effort getup for your covid-safe costume needs. The industrial-strength gas mask is the perfect face covering that really ties this look together and takes it to the next level. The toxic wastoid ensemble is also the best party-shield to protect oneself from outside wastoid variables such as spilled beer, red solo cup projectiles, and crispy October weather.( Bonus: If you are of the male persuasion, feel free to tell others that you’re dressed up as “toxic masculinity”.)

Remember like, 5 months ago when the toilet paper apocalypse was upon us? Well, this costume is the perfect opportunity to simply flex on every large chain store that has a sign next to their T.P that reads, “limit two per customer”.  The T.P mummy costume represents 3-ply resilience. It shows people how far you’ve come within the last 5 months by saying, “Yeah, the OLD me may have been desperate for any square of disposable cotton or carryout restaurant  napkin during the dark ages of May 2020, but right now...I am the GOD of ASS WIPING.”

This one is truly a costume-costume.Y’know what I mean? It truly takes guts to wear something so grey, so plain, and so stiff on a night where most folks just want to let loose and stomp on as many crunchy leaves as humanly possible. This costume is for the hardcore cosplay enthusiasts who are eager to bust out their nerdy and weirdly historically accurate getups every year...but just couldn’t bother for 2020. This exquisite knight costume is a gift to all the exhausted ren-fair nerds who are straight-up nihilistic about their Halloween plans this year;  and for those who  want to fly under the radar while still  remaining dedicated to their interests.

Jumpsuit costumes are arguably the pinnacle of Halloween fashion. All the info is from your neck to yer’ toes, kids. With this wholesome beekeeper costume, you’re literally covered from head to toe. Also, bees are scary, right? This costume is quick and easy due to it’s comfortable one-piece zip-up situation. (Although, some argue that the zip-up jumpsuit makes getting to the bathroom a nightmare. Just make sure that at least one person in your Halloween squad is a TP Mummy with some extra cotton to spare.) Don’t be afraid to spice up this look with your  favorite patches, pins, and flair! Bonus points if you take it to peak spooky-status by tricking it out with blood stains and zombie-like design elements to become the ultimate “beekreeper” .